Grief is so weird because it visits you during moments of victory and joy to remind you of its dominance— grief finds you with a champagne glass in your hand about to toast your win & it asks, don’t you wish they were still alive to celebrate with you? Then deep sadness sets in.

Perhaps then being the human who’s left behind and is still breathing and fighting through this thing called life— it’s important to realise that joy and grief can coexist and that in fact, they can make way for each other and that one never fully leaves, we grow around each.

Her death gnaws at my soul, I can’t find the words to express how deeply her passing has hit me. I wanted her to see me win, to show her life can be good for her too. To get a breakthrough in the year she passed was bitter sweet. I grieve her death daily.

Episode III